I am a working mom and these are my confessions.
My first week back at work was rough. Ha! Understatement of the year. It was beyond rough. I didn’t wear any makeup. Not because I didn’t want to,
but because I couldn’t. Not one day went by that I didn’t cry. That I didn’t feel like a piece of myself was missing. That I didn’t feel guilty for leaving my child with strangers in a strange place in the middle of Hollywood.
Adelaide can be a bit of a diva. But over the last 6 months I’ve learned how to “handle” her. Like her mama, she doesn’t like schedules. She wants to eat when she’s hungry, sleep when she’s tired, and be changed the moment her diaper is soiled. Can you blame her? I would want the same thing. Daycare makes that hard. There are so many other kids they have to care for that Adelaide isn’t getting the one on one attention she needs. They have been trying to force a schedule that she doesn’t want, and so she refuses to eat. She doesn’t sleep as long as she does at home either. And it crushes me!
I’m mad at myself for living in a world where I have to work to survive. But I also feel an enormous amount of guilt for loving my job and be excited about what I do.
For now, I guess I just have to live with the guilt, sadness and feeling of loss. I hear it gets easier. At this point in time, I’m not convinced.
I am a working mom, and these are my week one confessions.