Archive for Confessions of a Working Mom

Confessions of a Working Mom: Reflecting on Life

Yesterday, two news anchors in Virginia were tragically shot to death on air because a crazy ex-coworker felt it necessary to play god.  In the last 24 hours since hearing about this, I have been reflecting on life.

Someone connected to news crew took to social media to say something along these lines: We send our family to war and worry about them and hope they’ll come home. We send them out to do a news story on tourism and never think twice about it.  That got me thinking about how short life is.  And how meaningless just about everything we do is.

I know lots of people who are “married to….work, their car, money, music, etc.”  They have family, but they push it off because, well, they think they’ll always have tomorrow for that.  But tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us.  The rest of today isn’t for that matter.  Take some time today to think about that.  Call your loved ones (yes, pick up the damn phone instead of texting), and tell them how you feel.  Just in case you don’t get the opportunity later.

Think about what you truly believe about life and what happens after.  Take it seriously.  I grew up in the Christian church.  I’ve gone through periods in my life where I questioned my faith, but I’ve always made my way back to it.  Even though I am only a casual church attendee, G and I are on good terms.  Of this I am sure.  Whatever you believe, make sure that you are SURE to.  It took me years, more than half my life, to get  to that point.

Do things you truly enjoy and don’t let anyone hold you back from that.  I

"The Tree of Life" Photo by Micha Boxer.

“The Tree of Life”
Photo by Micha Boxer.

haven’t been the most awesome at doing this 100%.  I need to get better.  I need to take a trip to AZ, my favorite place on Earth.  I need to go on a cruise.  I need to read more books and take time to discover new music.  I need to see more theatre; not just what we have at work.

I encourage you to reflect on these things.  To reflect on your own lives.  Figure out whats important to you.  What matters most.  And then live your life in a way that reflects those things.  And hug your little ones a little tighter.

I am a working mom and these have been my confessions.

Confessions of a Working Mom: Week One

I am a working mom and these are my confessions.

My first week back at work was rough.  Ha!  Understatement of the year.  It was beyond rough.  I didn’t wear any makeup.  Not because I didn’t want to,

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Crying eyes.

but because I couldn’t.  Not one day went by that I didn’t cry.  That I didn’t feel like a piece of myself was missing.  That I didn’t feel guilty for leaving my child with strangers in a strange place in the middle of Hollywood.

Adelaide can be a bit of a diva.  But over the last 6 months I’ve learned how to “handle” her.  Like her mama, she doesn’t like schedules.  She wants to eat when she’s hungry, sleep when she’s tired, and be changed the moment her diaper is soiled.  Can you blame her?  I would want the same thing.  Daycare makes that hard.  There are so many other kids they have to care for that Adelaide isn’t getting the one on one attention she needs.  They have been trying to force a schedule that she doesn’t want, and so she refuses to eat.  She doesn’t sleep as long as she does at home either.  And it crushes me!

I’m mad at myself for living in a world where I have to work to survive.  But I also feel an enormous amount of guilt for loving my job and be excited about what I do.

For now, I guess I just have to live with the guilt, sadness and feeling of loss.  I hear it gets easier.  At this point in time, I’m not convinced.

I am a working mom, and these are my week one confessions.